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Weird habits

Alright, let's talk weird habits. Since moving out on my own, I've noticed I'm (what I've decided to call) a semi food hoarder. I have this weird habit of buying food, sometimes in bulk, and then not wanting to finish it because then it will be gone. I know, weird, I said that. I don't know why I do it. But, I do it all the time. Especially with chocolate! I love chocolate. 


I don't even know when I started this tradition but every year, after every major holiday that has seasonal chocolate, I go to the store the day after the holiday or two days after, and buy chocolate for 50% off. And I don't just buy one or two things. I buy bags and bags, enough for a whole family. And I live alone! I'll buy all my favorite chocolates and I'll eat a couple every now and then and the next holiday I do it again. And I almost never throw it out. It rarely goes bad. It's chocolate.


Halloween is this Saturday. I will almost definitely go to the store Monday or Tuesday and get discounted Halloween candy. Do I need it? Of course not! Let me tell you how badly I don't need it. I still have chocolate from Easter, Valentines, last Halloween, shit, I got an un opened box of chocolates in my freezer from at least 3 or 4 years ago. I should really open that. At least to see if it turned white. If it turned white, it might be bad, might. I seriously have a problem. It's not normal. 


I don't just do it with chocolate.  For some reason, I've always bought toilet paper in bulk. Even before the pandemic, when everyone decided they needed to buy all the toilet paper in the world, I was buying family sized packs of toilet paper for myself! And, because I live in a tiny studio and have no room for anything, I keep it in my Jeep and bring it up as I need it. I don't think that's too weird, I mean, toilet paper is one thing you don't want to run out of. I always had this fear of running out of toilet paper or an earth quake or other natural disaster of some time kind happening and me not having toilet paper. I also worried about being trapped in my apartment and not being able to get to my Jeep to get the toilet paper. 


I don't know, I'm weird like that. I did eventually stop buying the 30 pack and downsized to the 12 packs they have at the regular store. It's funny because when the pandemic hit and toilet paper ran out, I was down to one 12 pack in my jeep and I started panicking because I didn't know when they'd be back in supply. So when I finally was able to find toilet paper in the stores, I would buy it every time I went! Just in case! If I went to three different store that day and they had toilet paper at all three stores, I'd buy it at all three stores! 


Another weird habit, expired food. I eat it. I had top ramen in my cupboard from when I first moved into my apartment . . . 6 years ago. I may have finally eaten all of that because I have bought more a couple times. But it lasted me a few years. Not because I had a lot of it but because I don't really eat it too often, maybe once or twice a year when it's nice and cold. But I like to keep in in stock. Also, because that's usually the only thing I want to eat when I'm sick. 


I'll eat left overs for days and expired food because I don't like wasting. Some people are really weird with expiration dates and left overs. I know people who won't eat expired food at all and they'll only eat left overs for 3 days. The way I see it, if it's not moldy or smelly or growing hair, I'm gonna eat it! I haven't died yet (I love telling my friends that when they say, "are you really gonna eat that?" about old or expired food). And I've only gotten food poisoning once, but that was from restaurant food that I ate fresh so not my fault. 


With the pandemic and lockdown and now the upcoming election, I've been food hoarding a little more in anticipation of a possible second Civil War or civil unrest. Just in case I need to stay inside for a while. I want to make sure I'm fully stocked. I went (what I call) doomsday shopping today. The election is next Tuesday, one week away. So I wanted to make sure I had everything I needed and then maybe go out one more time prior to Tuesday in case there was something I forgot. 


I went to three different stores, Which isn't uncommon. Those are my three main stores. I usually pickup a few things at each because certain things are cheaper at certain stores. One of the stores I went to was the 99 cents store. I love the 99 cents store. It's hit or miss. Sometimes I can find almost everything I need there and sometimes I walk out empty handed. Today, I spent $60 there! That's quite a lot. Normally I don't spend more than $25. But I did get a lot of stuff. 


I know people who refuse to even shop at the 99 cents store because they think all their food is bad. But hey, when you're on a budget beggars can't be choosers. Be grateful you can actually buy packaged food at the 99 cents store rather than having to dig through the trash for food people threw away. 


The last store I went to, I only needed two or three things. But I spent over $60 there too. I got more groceries today than I've gotten in 2 weeks before. I panic bought. I bought things I already had because I didn't realize I already had them. I bought so much I don't have room for it. I had to cook because I didn't have room in my freezer for the meat and then I was barely able to fit the left overs in my fridge. Those leftovers are enough for at least 3 more meals, maybe four. It's hard to cook for one person, that's why I always have so much leftover. 


When I was working, I would meal prep for the week so that was convenient. Since I got laid off, I haven't been cooking too much, partly because it's been too hot and all I've wanted were salads and partly because I just didn't see the point in meal prepping if I wasn't working. Then, I'd get hungry, and I'd think, "Wow, do people really cook every day?" I was so used to only cooking on Sunday (for the whole week) and having food ready when I wanted it. The thought of having to cook everyday was exhausting, even though I'm not working. I thought about sticking to my meal prep for convenience but I just didn't feel like it. 


Now that I've panic bought a small grocery store, I'm gonna have to cook more. But, then there's the fact that when I cook one meal it usually lasts me a week. So what I really need to do is not go to the grocery store until I need to. Or until I almost need to. I think that's my main issue with my food hoarding. I don't want to need something and not have it and not be able to get it. I'm always freaking out inside about that. Don't eat the last cookie until you get more! Don't finish off the chips until you get more. Don't make the last chicken breast until you get more. Make sure you put more toilet maker in the bathroom and the closet and restock the jeep before you bring the last one up. Don't drink the last of the almond milk until you get another carton. Oh my god, there's only two eggs left. What am I going to have for breakfast tomorrow because I wasn't planning on going to the store yet so I can't eat the last two eggs. WHY AM I LIKE THIS???? It's NOT normal!   

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